How are you talking to yourself? What are you saying and how are you saying it?
Self-talk isn't just about the words, you know — it also has a lot to do with your conviction and enthusiasm for what you're saying. What you tell yourself is the most powerful and influential content you'll hear in your life.
Many of us think the greatest change comes from those outside of ourselves who teach us; this may be true in the moment we're being enlightened. But when the words settle, it's what we tell ourselves about them that influences our lives.
The things you tell yourself will either empower you or defeat you. Be mindful of as much of it as possible. And if you have to choose one side to be more aware of, choose the negative. Positive self talk often yields great rewards, so being vigilant of it is not as important as being aware of your negativity.
As humans, we tend to focus more and (in a strange way) delight in our negative thoughts. We become consumed by them, which leads us to color our world (and especially ourselves) in negative ways. If there's one thing that you can do to improve your life today, it's to start reframing your negative thoughts about yourself.
A Morning Reframe
People either love or hate affirmations. I'm on the former side. I believe that, when done in the morning, they are a sort of breakfast for the soul. They are a way for you to enjoy your own company and give credit for the things you are doing right and those that you have the potential to improve. Not only can affirmations boost your confidence — they can also allay those negative thoughts that might have otherwise intruded on tough days.
But affirmations don't just work like some miracle pill. You have to plug away at them every morning and believe them. Affirmations are a sort of habit. Your consistency in doing them creates new habitual circuitry like any other good habit. And, in theory, the more your brain hears these things, the more it will believe them and choose to perform to those standards.
Assuming a "power-pose," as they're called, can also help the words sink in. But like I said: it's not instant. You do have to believe what you're saying when you look in the mirror. Think of the difference between telling yourself you can fly and telling yourself people enjoy your company. No matter how much you tell yourself you can fly, you'll probably not grow to believe it because it's a physical impossibility.
For some of us, losing weight or being confident seems like just as far-fetched. So be sure that you set high but honest praise for yourself and temper your affirmations as you grow in confidence. You’ve heard people say fake it till you make it right? Well, if you want to make it so you don’t have to fake it, start today by lavishing yourself in praise. You are already bursting with potential — this I promise. I don't have to know you to know that, if you're reading this, you're ready for change and growth.
Trust me when I say that this is half the battle when it comes to your self improvement journey. Simply change the words you use around yourself and you'll see a world of difference in how you act and think.